I was not, of course, a virgin, but Ididn’t want to catch an STD, and I certainly didn’t wanta screaming kid at all, but certainly not at my age. Anyway, I knew that Jamie was also on the pill. (Shepopped one of those things daily right in front of me.)It’s not that I was suspicious of Jamie. I knew she hadhad sexual encounters in the past, but she looked andacted very healthy and I trusted her when she told methat she was clean. It’s not like I could just go up toher and demand that she get tested for every STD outthere anyway: that would be awful of me. However, it was the threat of becoming a father thatscared me the most. I just simply never cared for kids,and the prospect of taking care of one for 20+ yearsfinancially, emotionally, and energetically neverappealed to me at all. So, I opted to use the condomsanyway, even though I knew Jamie was on the pill. Bettersafe than sorry. Even so, sex with Jamie was alwayswonderful. She would always bring me up,. I knew this was coming so I took a deep breath and began to talk. "Everyone assumed we would be together but Charlie began drawing away from me just before our birthdays. We hadn't had sex but had engaged in some heavy petting sessions. We went to start the training and then I blew the world up. He wouldn't touch me. Bobbi, I didn't realize how much I needed his touch until it wasn't there. The thirty days were hell and then we came together. Charlie didn't really expect me there."I came but it was no better. I wanted him to crawl to me. Here was this gorgeous man who seemed to have no need for me. I realized that he wasn't going to walk to me much less crawl. I ran from the house. I stood outside crying and he came to me and gently took me in his arms. What he said then froze my blood and finally brought me completely to my senses."He comforted me like you would a child, not like a lover. He said he understood that I thought I was right. He said that I should return inside for my.
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