Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered "the local cafe serves breakfast until 11."Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join the Vancouver Police force. The Sergeant doing the interview says:"Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude. I thought nothing of it at first, thinking it might be a cat, and read my book on. But again and again there was a rustling in the bushes, so I was intrigued, and then ran to the bushes. But I could not see. Put me back on my couch and me on sunned. I did not realize that watching me the whole time 2 men aged 22 years. Time passed and it was getting dark, it was already evening and I thought, it already has become pretty late. I went into my apartment, had left the door open because of the warm summer night. Thought, in such an idyllic town with so few crimes will happen to me anyway. I went into the kitchen and gave me something to eat. I heard faint sounds and thought to myself. I make love to the door. What I did not know that my torturers had long been in my apartment. I went into the kitchen and have dinner. When suddenly came from behind 2 young men. One of the most Frank said, holding me with his mouth full of v******e, so that I could not go screaming and the other man.
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