Instead we rely on the large pile of towels by the bed to soak up the great fountains of gush that have become a regular feature of my love life. Our best acquisition has of course been the local version of the Hitachi wand – sold as a massager, if applied directly to a clitoris the deep, hard bass vibrations produce an instant climax on any occasion – it is the lazy man (and woman’s) ultimate sex toy.I have also discovered the joy of enemas. They take practice. It has taken a while to live down the shame of squirting a professional mistress with an eyeful of bum juice. But since then I have learned that lying back in a hot bath, and emptying a bag full of warm water into me is deeply satisfying. And it means I can gush with impunity, without worrying about an additional accident. At a moment of intense orgasm when my body throws up a torrent of fluid, I have not the wit or skill to distinguish between the various muscles that make up my pelvic floor. There have also been disasters.. This was long ago, in a more delicate time, and, well, the workmen were a plain spoken lot.After a time, the Mother Superior invited the construction foreman to meet with her, so they could discuss some things.She related how the tender sensibilities of the sisters were tested by the Anglo-Saxon terms employed by the workers, and could the foreman please encourage his employees to tone it down.He replied, “Well, you know, Reverend Mother that these are a rough lot, plain spoken men. They are not attuned to the more sensitive things in life. Being plain spoken, they are inclined to call a spade a spade!”The Mother Superior drew herself up to her full 5 foot height, and returned, “You know that’s bullshit! They call it a fucking shovel!”More from St John‎ Jokes“Hey, Domino’s. I got your pizza and there ain’t any toppings ... no nothin’ ... it’s like only just bread!” “Please give us your phone number and street address”. “Never mind ... I opened the box upside down!”My neighbour. She’s.
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