I tried dating other girls, but the whole time all I could think about was you. All I could think about was how I wanted to kiss you, hold your hand, cuddle up during a movie, and talk politics with you. How I wanted to make love to you in every way a man can, and curl up with you afterwards. I have wanted to tell you for so long…’ ‘Then why didn’t you Adam? Why did you ignore me instead of go after me?’ There was a harshness to Krystina’s voice that Adam recognized all too well. It was the same harsh voice she used when in a defensive stance during debates and arguments. ‘Because…’ The words were like boulders sitting on his tongue. He didn’t know how to scrape them off without being in total pain with a side effect of death. ‘Because… I… because I was afraid Krystina. I was afraid of what it would do to our friendship, do to us. I was afraid of being in a relationship. Afraid I would lose my freedom and then as we grew farther apart I felt like it was too late. Maybe it is too. I have had a number of admirers over the years and I have always been confident in my looks. When we would go out, Rick liked me to go bra-less and wear low cut tops, so that a lot of cleavage was exposed and my nipples would show through. I had been discussing my problems with a close friend of mine named Charlotte . Charlotte and I had met when Rick transferred to this small Southern city. We met through a local tennis club, and became fast friends. I had spent a lot of time at her house. We also shopped and lunched together often. We were real buddies and shared very personal feelings, so it was helpful to discuss with her the problems between Rick and I. Charlotte was always on my side and gave me lots of advice. Charlotte’s husband had a friend named Cliff. I would see him often when I was visiting Charlotte . He was Charlotte’s neighbor and worked with her husband, Richard. Cliff and Richard were usually working on some project or watching a game on TV, doing all that male.
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