You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see.If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language. Ab wo meree gaand maar raha tha aur jhuk kar Shalu meree fuddee chaat rahi thi aur mera yaar apnee jeebh se tumhaaree biwi kee choot chaat raha tha. Wo itne jor se meree gaand men apna lund pel raha tha ki lagata tha meree gaand phat jayegee aur main behosh ho jaungi. Main gid gida kar us se apna lund nikaal lene ko kahne lagee, jis se use mujh par daya aa gayee aur usne apna lund meree gaand se khinch liya. Lekin uska lund ab bhi poore taav men tha is liye usne tumhaaree biwi ko kas ke pakadte huye uskee gaand men apna lund pel diya. Aur jor jor se tumhaaree biwi kee gaand maarne laga. Shalu dard se chaatpatati rahi lekin bina daya kiye wo uskee gaand chodta raha. Ab uska lund tumhaaree biwi kee gaand men sata sat andar baahar ho raha tha. Shalu bhi ab masti men aa chuki thi aur apna chuttar hila hila kar apnee gaand marwa rahi thi. Karib das pandrah minute tak lagaataar tumhaaree biwi kee gaand men dhakka maarte maarte usne uskee gaand men hee apna paanee chhod diya. Phir ham log.
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