Giving in to my need for instant relief, trying to quick fix my inner chaos by drinking myself into oblivion would after all have been the easy way. And I didn’t do easy, I never chose the simple way out. Not if there was a better, more logical way anyway. Simply quitting wasn’t the smart way forward. After coming to the decision that I would keep going I went home, treated myself to a cup of hot chocolate, painkillers and a shower. I then went to bed and kept the bad thoughts away by imagining long, inventive lovemaking with Simon, and I fell asleep with a satisfied smile on my lips. Lust was after all a quite powerful emotion too, and a thoroughly pleasured body and mind is always easier to settle, no matter how handmade the pleasure. A couple of weeks passed and I kept myself busy, putting the finishing touches on a few things here and smoothing more than a few wrinkles there. I wrote letters to all of my friends, signed a huge pile of papers and… I cried a lot. All sorts of. Never. I've had periods like fucking clockwork for almost four years." she said bitterly, not even noticing her language.Neil slowed his breathing and banished the beast from his mind. "We should get up to the med hut" he said quietly.Stephanie nodded and stood.At the med hut Crystal was on duty. She was a heavyset lady with salt and pepper hair and a high, shrieking laugh that carried for miles. Neil had never been friendly or unfriendly toward her, mostly because none of his medical needs had required the med team. With one somewhat notable exception, he reminded himself.Crystal smiled when he walked in and had Stephanie sit. His look, however, changed her face to one of businesslike concern."What's the problem?" she asked, glancing over at Stephanie for signs."Yeah. She's a bit... How much do I have to go into this, shes..." Stomach, homesick, sting?" Crystal asked quickly and routinely... When Neil's face tightened and his eyes shifted she nodded and sighed. "Pregnant... what do.
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