That's a hell of a way to talk about somebody, much less someone you're married too. Someone you told this morning "I love you."Roy was on a tear though. He was explaining to this cutie what an indifferent woman I was. How I never "understood him". How I always put work first. He even managed a muffled sniffle. For all I knew a tear was running down his cheek.Shit, he was good. I was even mad at that cold woman he was married to. The one whom he had done so much for, tried so hard for, worked so long to please. Of course when I remembered that cold-hearted bitch was ME the anger turned another way.I slipped back down the hallway and went looking for the video camera I had borrowed from work. It came in handy when walking new properties to record everything about them for the listing description and pictures. I had used it the other afternoon and had not returned it, although I had put the tape in my briefcase.I stopped in the living room, looking around. One part of my mind was. ' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' She smiled and said,"No, I didn't. All I saw was an old tired minivan with two flat tires..."Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then?''Because she can still.
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