She never expressed any opinions that mypractice was excessive. Yet I seemed to get that impression. What seemedto concern her most was how I was using masturbation to, as she put it,to change the subject at hand, no pun intended. I was using it as a meansof avoidance. A way to avoid thinking about certain things that might betroubling me. Like when my thoughts would turn to A_ and I would get themout of my mind by escaping into masturbation. Something like that.Indeed the therapy sessions were causing me to think more about thingsthat made me uncomfortable. And maybe it's true that I seem to bemasturbating even more lately."So Jeff," Ilona began one day, "how are things?" Fine?" I said knowing that really I was supposed to say more. While mycomfort level was quite high with Ilona, there were certain moments whenI would shy into myself."How did your promise to yourself from the last session go," she asked?I thought back to the last session. We had covered a number of. As much as I hated the procedure, I also understood debriefings were unavoidable. Success and failures each teach important lessons, but only if we take the time to learn.Our drivers took the upwind position as they escorted Seraina and me to the second-floor shower a few doors down from the room I shared with Darlene. I couldn’t blame them. We smelled worse than a blacksmith’s armpit.“Dennis! Alice! Wait for us,” Darlene called out as she ran forward with Alice’s daughter at her side.“Mom, Dennis, welcome home!” StarShine screamed as she double hugged her mother and me before wrinkling her nose and backing away.“Christ! You smell like a wet dog.” Darlene gave me a sloppy wet kiss of welcome as our small mob continued toward the shower.“Perhaps he smells like a wet wolf,” Seraina laughed with a wink.“Yeah, an old soggy beast with stinky fur.” Darlene’s nose wrinkled as she gave me an inquiring glance.I shrugged and looked over at the gals assembling along the second-floor railing.
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