I’d had skinny lovers, of course, but those whose frames had a good covering always turned me on more. So when I walked into my local pub that fateful Friday, little did I expect that my life was just about to change. I met with my friends most Fridays, and they were there before me, Fred of the hangdog look on a short lease from his nagging scrawny wife, and Jim, the middle aged wannabe playboy of the western world, whose successes were limited to Doreen the faded blonde barmaid. I was single again, for the third time, my previous wives having mostly been dumped because they wanted kids, or better houses, or cars or weekends away, whereas what I wanted, I had come to realise, was a sex partner, who let me live my life as I wanted to, and for her to live hers as she wanted as well. A bit selfish? Maybe, but that was what I was looking for, and going through quite a few women on my search. She had to be around somewhere, I fervently believed that, she just had to be. We’d had a couple. Let me call the chief right away." No worries about that. I just want to get this destroyed and enough paperwork to keep me out of trouble in the future." Sure, come with me and I'll help you out."I closed and locked my car and followed the officer into the building. He took me to register as a visitor and then back into the squad room where a form was taken out of a file cabinet and the process began. Name, address, SSN, phone number, serial number of gun. The works. Once we were done with all of that, the gun went to holding and copies of the form were given to me and one went to records."So is this enough of a report for the insurance company?" No, but the official arson report and police report are enough and you can use them to get a new pistol along with all of the other possessions. Anything else I can do for you?" No. I wanted to make sure I had documents showing the gun no longer existed and not a danger to anyone. Never can be too careful." Got that right." The officer.
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