Badder than any man I’ve ever met. Or imagined.”“And how does that make you feel?”“You know how.”“Tell me.”“Like it shouldn’t. Hot. Hot and … and … and crazy-fucking-horny.”He clutched her breast and made her gasp. “Well that makes you a very bad girl, doesn’t it? Wanting to fuck a man like me. Doesn’t it, Brooke?”“I guess it does.”“A naughty, bold, presumptuous, immoral, slutty girl. I think I’m going to have to punish you.”“Punish me?” The word had a scary exciting resonance.“That’s right.” He began to walk her in reverse, still fondling her tit. She held onto him lest she stumble in her heels. He guided her between sofas and around an ornate occasional-table, the head of his cock brushing her tummy as they proceeded. His eyes had the quality of a brewing storm and she was transfixed, depending utterly on him to steer her. “Of course,” he said, “the items on that list are all qualities I like and admire, but call it a perversity of my nature … I feel the impetus to punish them as. But then, later, I got an even better idea. I could get a bigger Brittany doll. One of those lifesized ones they advertise in TigerBeat and really smash it. I could use a baseball bat and break her legs. I could use a knife and cut off her boobs. I could hang her upside down from a highway overpass and watch a big semi-truck splatter her all over the countryside. Oh yeah. Therapy with a capital 'T'.I was reaching for the phone when I had my best idea. There was an ad in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (is that even a fucking word??) that said,"REAL IMPERSONATORS!!Yeah, really funny. But it said they had a Brittany Spears. So I choked back my laughter and started thinking of all the good therapy I could get from a real fake Brittany Spears. It doesn't take too much imagination does it? I kept reaching for the phone alright, but it was a different number I dialed.Her mom answered. "Hello?" Hi, I wanna hire a real fake Brittany Spears." Oh! You have the wrong number, sorry." Fuck!!" I.
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