Those fucking veins. You start to feel it–the hot, damp sensation that usually follows any thoughts of him. The whiskey starts talking. Fuck it. He’s braced against the crowded bar and the outline of his perfect ass is calling to you. Tonight you’re answering that call, and your drink is empty besides. You sidle up to the bar, making sure your tits swing a little harder as you squeeze in next to him. You look at him. You know he noticed. “ Sorry,” you say. “Don’t be.” He smiles. His gaze lingers just long enough below the neck for you to know you’ve hooked him. You feel a burst of confidence. “Buy a girl a drink?” As he shifts his hips to face you, you see the outline of the gun. You should be scared but you aren’t. It’s tucked away in his pants, resting next to his other prominent bulge. You wish you could see more of it, maybe the ass-end of the grip poking out, lifting his shirt just enough for you to peep at his chiseled stomach, but you make do with what you have. Just thinking. When another chatter got too pushy, ‬I just moved on.‭ ‬At my age, I was supposed to have children, ‬so I spent a lot of time explaining that even though I had been married, I didn't have kids.‭ ‬It wasn't often, ‬but now and then, a real conversation broke out.‭ ‬On those occasions someone usually asked if I missed not having kids.‭ ‬I never could find a satisfactory answer to that.I always considered sex chats interactive pornography and did what most people do to porn.‭ ‬Yes, I masturbated while chatting.‭ ‬I would try to do all the things I claimed that I was doing.‭ ‬There just didn't seem like much sense in not playing along since no one could see me.On line masturbation was mostly about illusion and mental imagery.‭ ‬It was much easier to have a man shove his nonexistent ten inch penis up my butt there, than to have a man in real life shove his real ten inch penis up my butt.‭ ‬It also hurt a lot less on line.I have to admit a finger to simulate a man or even woman's tongue on.
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