I’m not ill, I’m not perverted and I wasn’t abused. I was an adult when it all started. I wasn’t coerced in any way and could have left any time. I stay with James because I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.”She sounded very convincing.“Some people call it suffering from Genetic Sexual Attraction – GSA - as if it’s an illness too. We call it love.”I had heard of this condition many times too.“Do you consider yourselves married?” I asked.She looked down at her left hand, on the third finger of which lay a diamond engagement ring.“That’s a sore point,” she replied firmly. “We can’t be married - but we’re definitely engaged. Nothing can stop us making that commitment to each other. It’s just going to be a very long engagement, that’s all.”“Would you want to get married if you could?” I asked.“More than anything else in the world,” she replied seriously. “We’re trying to find a kind of ceremony that would be close enough to feel married but wouldn’t mean we had to. It was at that point the bathroom door opened. I panicked. I held the top up to cover myself. I remembered my plan and dropped it. I felt myself redden but I was pleased to see Samantha smile sheepishly and walk to her case with her top button and zipper open on her cotton gingham trousers. I mumbled incoherently through my script about dithering over what to wear and without discussion I put on a tight jumper. Then promptly felt annoyed with myself for being so pathetic. It was probably as a result of my undischarged anticipation, the confusion and inner conflict I was experiencing over these very feelings, and my annoyance with myself for failing so abysmally to follow my plan that I found bravery I wouldn't generally exhibit. When Samantha disappeared towards the bathroom with a skirt and top, I waited about thirty seconds and then boldly pushed open the door, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. As if I was faced with a beautiful girl bent over taking off her trousers every.
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