" Barely able to walk properly Ileft her presence in a daze and went up to my old bedroom. My erectiongot stiffer when I reflected on the fact that in my haste to flee thesituation I hadn't corrected her, I hadn't said, "I'm not gay, I don'thave a boyfriend." A voice in my head said to me, "If you will let hertalk about you moaning in pleasure from being screwed by a boyfriend thatyou don't even have and you still won't defend yourself from hercomments, is there anything she can't say to you?" The range of her nextpotential gay insults appeared to be unlimited. I began to imagine thesein my mind to test how I would react. I thought of her saying, "I'mworried about who will take care of you when I die, I've got to find youa rich husband." And then I thought of how absolutely humiliating it wasthat I was so gutless I wasn't going to correct her by saying, "But Mom,I will have a wife not a husband." I was the biggest wimp in the world.In my mind I started to think of nightmare scenarios,. She stood over me & placed her boot on my back as I was mopping her floor. She poked harder with her heels into my back. I continued to mop her floor “Should we go to the next room, Jeanette? “No, wait. Let me inspect this room first.” She walked to the middle of the room. “Idiot. Come here now.” I crawled to the spot she was pointing at. She tossed some of the burnt ash from her cigarette to the floor. “Who is going to clean that up? What the fuck do you think you’re doing, loser? Get down there & lick my floor clean.” I lowered my head & licked her cigarette ash off the floor. “What about these flakes?” she asked, shaking off some more ash from her burning cigarette. I tried to lick them, but this time she covered it with her boot. “Lie down, face up,” she said pointing to the spot next to her boot. I lay down. She raised her boot over my head with the cigarette ash stuck to the bottom her shoe. “Do you see all this dust, loser? “Y..yes Jeanette.” I said. “You forgot to clean up.
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