She glanced at me for a second. She threw me a sharp look.. not quite angry, but cold enough to make me uncomfortable. Her body turned and she walked down the hall to the bathroom. Two seconds later the water was running. "Damn girl," my mom blurted. My mom's relationship with Lori had been poor since my dad died. They never spoke, and when they did it was an argument. Mom could be very accusatory to her.. almost mean sometimes. Apparently my mom had distanced herself so much that she had become completely oblivious to Lori's life. A heard a clinking from the bathroom and realized that Lori was taking off her jewelry. She had a unque style.. I guess you could say she was punk/goth. Her hair was cut in a black bob with stop sign red straight bangs across her forehead. She always wore a a skirt with fishnets and boots. Most of her clothes were black, and we got dirty looks from the people at church (which mom forced her to go to). Ryan dressed similarly. He had a black mohawk and a. When Mustapha held me in his arms and kissed my belly(which I now thought of as a full-blown sexual organ), I felt as if someentity was growing inside of me. I felt as if I was pregnant. Not with areal baby of course, but with a vortex of tender, motherly love churninginside of me. My belly, although distended, was warm and smooth at thetouch. My belly button was jutting out as happens to a pregnant womanwhen her belly bulges out. I had mood swings, typical of hormone surges,and the definite sensation something was moving on the inside. It was abit like I could feel the baby kicking sometimes! Heaven on earth for atranswoman, I thought, mustn't be very different from this. I felt as ifevery moment of my life was significant in the writing of my history as awoman.One night I told Mustapha about my feelings, while I was in his lovingarms. His dark, smouldering eyes softened up all of a sudden, like thoseof a man being told by his woman that he is going to be a father. Next,with a glow.
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