My thoughts dawdle on this marine metaphor I already uttered...*...as she and I lay there, panting in the afterglow, her head resting on my chest, finger laggardly drawing circles on my chest, the cruelty of reality nonchalantly discarded as the minor nuisance it represented. We exchanged irrelevant sweet nothings that sprang from the spur of the moment—meaningless, little more than throwaway phrases then...*...but so gut-wrenchingly heavy now, her exact hardly even aspirated words prominently burnt into my head as an unsolicitedly latched-on memento. If only I had known that my weakness would catch up with me, taint my conscience, fill my belly with nauseatingly bitter remorse rather than forbidden thrill...The quest for consolation naturally drives me into the familiar comfort of your arms, relieving me from the obligation to return your gaze. I find myself on the verge of losing my mind over how simple it was to deceive you and get away with it, close to bursting with laughter and. ." I've always wanted them dear, but I never had it done since your father was such a fuddy-duddy about it..." Oh, nothing very excessive, just something that will look good in a bikini..." No, I'm not too old for a bikini, but if you think that, you're the one that's too old to wear one..." No, nothing like that. They make some very nice ones these days, even sexier than the ones they had when I was your age. There's this line called Wicked Weasel..." Well, of course you wouldn't. You might if you were to lay off the doughnuts and get some exercise... Oh, Bev, you're such a naughty girl! The things you can do with your tongue..." No dear, Bev is hardly a dog. In fact, she's very attractive..." Well, if you must know, she's your father's former mistress..." Oh, yes he did. I knew about her for years but I don't think he knew I knew..." No, I'm not making this up. After the funeral we were talking. I told her no hard feelings, since I always knew your father thought the grass was.
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