I had just stood there taking the hits, not sure why either. Becky had collapsed into my arms by the time Samantha got there, and I'm not sure what she thought had happened between us, though it was obvious something had."Is everything all right guys?" NO... everything is not all right. This asshole is still planning on offing himself after I die. He may not make it that far though... I'm about ready to do him in right now." What?" It's nothing Samantha. Becky is just upset." UPSET? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M UPSET. You look Samantha and me in the eyes and tell us that you haven't been planning to kill yourself. LOOK US IN THE EYES and say that you're fine with all of this and that you're planning on working and living for a long, long time. GO AHEAD JOHN. DO IT."She had me there. I couldn't look anyone in the eye and say that without showing that it would be a lie. I looked at the wall and then down at the floor. I was a mess. I turned and walked out, heading to the bathroom to clean up;. ‘These kids, our prospective students, are pretty tough, you know. They could cause you a lot of trouble,’ I continued, sounding like the archetypal whitey. ‘Let me worry about that,’ she offered, folding her arms under her breasts. ‘I can handle any brotha alive,’ she boasted, spitting out the label contemptuously. I was struck by the apparent antipathy she harbored toward males of her own race as I continued to look at her. The rich, dark brown skin on her face and neck, plus on her bare, lightly muscled arms and hands, had a healthy sheen to it that attested to years of devotion to expensive beauty products. Then she changed the subject: ‘Incidentally, Nancy – you know, that white girl up in publishing – is havin’ a cocktail party on Saturday. You goin’?’ she asked. ‘Don’t know. Hadn’t heard about it,’ I confessed. I was brand new on the job and, though the buzz was out that a new, single, white Ph.D. was in the office – and feminine smiles were easy to come by in the hallways –.
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