My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver so you will always remember me." But grandpa, I really don't like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa. How long were you his mistress?" About three years," she replied."Why did you break up with Ed?" Vangie asked softly."Because our relationship was going nowhere. I loved Ed very much and I think I was pretty good with him, but he wasn't going to leave his wife and I wasn't going to ask him to."The young woman looked tortured and then said, "I couldn't take it anymore. When we were together in bed, I was in Heaven, but then when he went home to his wife I felt like such an unmitigated shit! I ... I even tried to tell his wife..." Tell her what?" Vangie asked softly."To be better with him. To love him. To let him love her. But ... But she wouldn't. I guess she gave birth to Ken and felt that that was a sufficient contribution to the marriage. She couldn't seem to understand what a virile man she was married to. Making love to Ed isn't a once-a-month project."The woman's head dropped and then she looked up and said, "I'm going to say something that could get me fired..." Wrong, Jane,".
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