How was I to know that those spirited arguments I had with thisarrogant but handsome occult gay stallion would lead to something wild?Fred Majowski, alias Stallion Freddy, lectured at our favourite occultbookstore, you see.I really enjoyed the parties our occult bookstore sponsored, thisScorpio dude was getting his share of the action by charming all thoseditzy hot babes I met earlier from astrology class. We certainly werepolar opposites, I liked the foxy girls and Freddy had to dominate hislegion of silly-ass legal-age boyfriends. I enjoyed getting high andthat harsh gay vegetarian despised the use of drugs and alcohol.You know what they say about opposites, opposites attract. I had noidea another, very different kind of sexual partner would conquer myjaded romantic heart. At first I was repelled and amazed seeing them,all those out-of the closet gay freaks I met during those occultbookstore sponsored gatherings.Latent homophobia, the Fag-Hag had to remind me. According to. .. again. I do admit I saw the ridiculous side of the condition. That caused the loss of any semblance of control ... again.I grabbed a handful of crushed chips from the blue bowl ... it wasn’t Tom’s but they were good enough. My mouth blossomed with the flavors of sour cream, onion, nacho cheese, cheddar, greasy potatoes, baked chips, tortillas, lime, lemon salt, pork rinds, corn chips, vinegar ... every kind of chips ... except barbecue ... I hate barbecue flavoring ... took a swig of my Orange Crush ... the best orange pop ... and tried again.I mumbled through the chips, “I want to talk to you about sex.”“What do you want to know?” Funny, he understood me perfectly. I didn’t understand what I had said, but Chuck did.Chuck was immediately coated with chips and orange soda. Passing through the nostrils at high speed, those little bitty chip fragments hurt.And they are sharp. Chuck used half a roll of toilet paper controlling the bleeding.When we resumed our decorum, I was sitting.
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