Und ichber?hrte sie nicht im Schritt. ?berhaupt waren meine Bewegungen beil?ufig. Einwenig gelangweilt. Ich wollte sie nicht anheizen. Es war mehr so ein Streichelnaus Langeweile, zumindest sollte es so wirken. Wie man seine Katze beil?ufigstreichelt, w?hrend man ein angeregtes Gespr?ch f?hrt. Abwesend. Wenn ichabbiegen oder blinken musste, nahm ich die Hand weg ans Steuer, wenn ich siezum Fahren nicht mehr ben?tigte, legte ich sie wieder auf ihren Schenkel. Ich wollteden Eindruck erwecken, als w?re sie f?r mich etwas Belangloses. Aber ich war mirsicher, dass sie jede Bewegung meiner Hand, jedes Streicheln genauregistrierte. Bis in meineFingerspitzen. Sie sollte nichtzur Ruhe kommen. In ihrenGedanken an mich gekettet bleiben. Aber nat?rlichging es mir nicht anders. Mein Desinteresse war nur gespielt. Schlechtgespielt. Ich brodelte. Und das merkte sie bestimmt auch.Wie konnte esdazu kommen? War das wirklich alles Zufall gewesen? Diese Situation und ihreWorte, die diesen schweren Stoff. I was born into a highly sexed inbred family, perhaps this inbreeding was what made us sexual deviants, take mother and her three sisters, I can remember seeing all four of them in their twenties moving around their fathers farm house, all naked and in their fathers presence, a gruff man, crude and dominant, mother used to say he shagged their mother to death, and the daughters took their turn with him, sometimes all four of them keeping him satisfied in a day.I watched as a girl from behind the door which was ajar, to his crude and violent sex acts, my mother, his third eldest pinned to the counter while his hand violated her inside her panties, his face taut and his jaw rigid as he studied her intently, his hand thrusting hard into her, he watched as she buckled and collapsed, there was no faking an orgasm with him, he knew, she once said, we tightened around his fingers, that was what he relished most, feeling his daughters get off on his fingers.Living on a farm in the wilderness.
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