He held it in front of him as a weapon. Might as well wave a toothpick in front of an angry bear, he thought.The creatures were only twenty feet away, and closing fast. They smelled of filth, decay, and infection. The stench almost caused him to pass out."Stop right there!!" bellowed Amanda, with more authority than he had ever heard before. Kevin glanced behind, and saw that Amanda was covering his back. She had popped the cork on the wineskin. Its bladder was nestled securely under her armpit. The spigot was pointed at the nearest predator.The creatures froze."I have water, and he has deathmetal. And we both know how to use them."A tremor of fear shook through the creatures, shaking the wall. Each took a long loud sniff of the air. Suddenly, all four took off, ascending the sides of the chasm, faster than they had descended. All the way they screamed "Water! Deathmetal! Water! Deathmetal!". Within seconds, they were gone.As soon as they had disappeared from sight, Kevin dropped to. “Okay.”“Bu the problem is, Puck doesn’t get out of fairy land much. Basically for him, all white boys look the same.”Joey laughs. “Okaaaayyy...”“And he gives the potion to the wrong guy. He makes Lysander fall in love with Helena. So now we have Lysander, who loves Helena, who loves Demetrius, who loves Hermia, who loves Lysander.” I indicate this with a big circle.“Oh. I get it.”“And as they say in show business, ‘hilarity ensues’. They all chase each other for a couple acts, and Oberon tries to fix it and just makes everything worse.”“Okay.”“Meanwhile, Oberon is pissed at his wife, Titania, and he uses the love potion on her to make her fall in love with some random forest animal. But Puck comes along and he finds the ugliest character in the cast, a guy named Bottom...”“Bottom?”“Bottom.”“BOTTOM?”“Bottom.”“As in ... butt? Ass?”“You’re way ahead of me. Now Puck transforms Bottom so he now has the head of a donkey.”Joey stares at me with a blank face for a long time.“A donkey.
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