Rascally Rick was, in fact a rascal. He'd most lately figured out that, if you got a down payment of a couple grand, and then sort of forgot to actually add that into the calculations mathematically, most people just didn't notice. You had a line on the finance paperwork that clearly said "Down Payment : $3,000.00" But that three big ones wasn't actually deducted anywhere from the price of the car. If there were factory rebates in the deal, that messed up the accounting even more. Making sure that dealer prep and transportation costs and every possible thing was listed in the contract also helped. And, if you got caught, you loudly cursed the computer for letting you put things in the wrong box, moved it to where you should have put it in the first place, and smiled your great big whiskery Rascal Rick smile. If it was a woman who had caught you, you called her "little lady", regardless of her age. If it was a man, you called him "Stud" if he was under about forty and "Compadre" if he. “No way,” I said, “Really, who are you?” “Okay, so I’m just a helper. Santa’s too busy tonight so he sent me on my own.” “What are you doing?” I asked. He obviously wasn’t going to tell me who he really was. “Setting the mood for your presents. Now why don’t you just relax? I’m not a robber. I’m here for Christmas.” He took out a big, fat candy cane and handed it to me. “Just suck on that for a minute, listen, and be good for goodness sake.” Somehow, he took control. And for whatever reason, I let him be in charge. I kind of knew him, you know, from the mall. I did what he said, taking the unwrapped candy cane and slipping it in my mouth. “You’ve been a naughty girl this year,” he started, “but nice enough to get what’s coming to you.” He came over to me and stripped off the blankets from my bed, revealing my warm, flannel pajamas. He started to undress me. “That’s right, baby,” he said. “Santa has brought you some candy.” But this definitely wasn’t Santa Claus. He unbuttoned my top,.
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