Addison everywhere.In Hell, the world is pale, filtered through pain so colours are wan, sounds dull, life around you detached, apart, alien.In Hell, there is no joy or laughter, no highs, just endless lows. In Hell, you’re an emotional cripple.Hell is a state of mind and no one could help me. No one could save me. I was trapped by memories, the only memories I had - six months of Addison four years ago. I had no other memories to distract me.In this Hell, I adapted. I’d learned to lie. I’d learned to fake social skills, pretend interest; I’d learned how to survive, not live. I worked out daily hoping the endorphins would assuage my soul. They didn’t - gone before I left the gym. I kept up appearances, maintained the same very short beard Addison had so liked.I’d discovered McEwan’s, a gourmet food shop in Don Mills and, like now, I browsed for premade meals, not that interested, not that hungry. Food was fuel, nothing more.Since her passing four years ago, I’d hired a house cleaning. He came out looking for me and i called him over "i was going to go in mine? but this will do, haha." i purposely bent over in the skirt to unlock the passenger side. it'd taken him about 5 minutes over break to come out, so i said "if we're going to do this we've got to be quick and careful" (baring in mind i was parked right in the front of the building) he grabbed my hand and forced my head down on his cock and said "haha, you slut. obviously this is what you want" i'd only just become accustomed to sucking dick then, but god, did i love it. i loved the empowerment of taking a cock in my mouth and making it cum. i think this appealed to me more because the aforementioned boyfriend is the one who got me into doing it. so it felt like i was getting even more back on him. i sucked his dick, played with and squeezed his balls, while he put his hand up my skirt fingering my pussy. i was really close to coming (as was he) and i love to ride a guy to make him cum. he got within seconds.
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