Arnie. What is really bothering you? Tell me. I'm sure mom can help." Not this time, mom. It's really ambarassing" It is sexual, isn't it? Remember? I am the one who gave you your first lesson in sex" I think I am suffering from pre-mature ejaculation." Really? How did you know?" I found out during my masturbations." When did you start masturbating? You should have told me about it. A mother would love to know about such thing." I watched porn with Tommy in his room. We started masturbating about two years ago." I see. You boys started really young these days." I was sure Arnie had read about pre-mature ejaculation in some books, and just imagined the rest. I decided to play along wiith it, maybe to my advantage. "Would you like mommy to help with this problem before turning to the professionals?" I asked, acting earnest and sympathetic."Oh! Yah. I guess." OK. Let's see. You have seen me partly naked before, Right?. Have you ever fantasized about having sex with your mom? Like most. Not Celeste in the last ten years of my first marriage, and certainly not the old crone who slept two rooms down from me. By now I didn’t want to actually meet the naked girl and realize that she had all the foibles and irritating habits as the rest of us. I loved her just as she was: an ideal woman to worship from afar. In her I could invest traits of purity and intellect and joy and she would have those qualities. Just try to find them in a real human, I dare you. A few nights later a lightening storm woke me at midnight. I lay there in the darkness thinking of the naked girl, and just like a thunderbolt the idea came. A realization so appalling, so unbearably dreadful that it had to be true because that’s how life is. I knew in which bookcase to look to find what I needed. So there I was a little later sitting at the desk in my den, staring at the answer. As the pure cold truth of it sank in, I began to laugh and cry together. ‘A good trick, God, oh a real humdinger!’ I cried..
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