. something special, something unique, to be shared between two people who really love each other.’ Julie stared at me. ‘It can be that way,’ she said. I nodded. ‘I know. And it’s been that way for me . . . a few times.’ Julie didn’t say anything, waiting for me to continue. I put down my chopsticks and reached for my cigarettes. I lit one, breathing out smoke. I wondered why I was so nervous. Maybe it was because I had never really thought about the journey I had begun until that moment. ‘But I found out, pretty quickly,’ I continued, pulling on my cigarette. ‘Sex can be something else. It can be a tool. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.’ ‘I don’t think that way,’ Julie said. I cocked my head. ‘You sure?’ She frowned. ‘I’m not like you,’ she said emphatically. I scoffed, defensive. ‘Every woman is like me, at least once in a while.’ Julie ground her teeth. Now she was uncomfortable, looking down. She poked at her stir fry as she listened. ‘When I’m with a man, he knows what. Mene ha kar di to usne kha ki muje dal dena mere phone par.Are me uska nam batana to bhul hi gaya uska nam rasila he aur uske pati ka nam paresh he.Ha to fir se story pe ata hu tabhi achanak light chali gayi.Muje laga ki ye sahi moka he.Mene himat ki aur mera hath uske jandho par rakh diya par usne kuch nahi kiya.Muje dar bhi bahut lag raha tha kuch samaj nahi aa raha tha ki kya karu but mene himat ki aur mene dhire dhire hath ferna suru kar diya.Kya batau ki kitna maja aa raha tha aur dar bhi laga raha tha.Thodi der bad usne mera hath jat se hata liya aur me dar gaya ki aur apne pati ko kuch kaha na de aur me nasta khatam karke chala gya.Aur dusre din me ghar se bahar ni nahi nikala kahi kuch kah na de.Aur rat ko jab me ghar me betha tha to uske pati mere ghar par aya.Meto dar gaya ki vo sab kuch bata dega par usne kaha ki aj bahar kyu nahi bethe ho chalo bahar bethte he.Mene mana kar diya to vo muje jabardasti bahar le gaya.Aur hum bahr beth gaye.Thodi der me uski patni bhi bahar.
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