The third day of losing my lunch (and breakfast and dinner), I decided to self medicate myself because I couldn't work, no work meant not paying bills and I couldn't have that. I had some left over meds in the medicine cabinet from when I blew my knee out in college and had to see a doctor, a few years ago I had an infection in the knee, so I had some left over antibiotics. I made myself a nice cocktail of four or five different pills, including some potent painkillers and went to bed.I wasn't able to get out of bed the next morning. For five days and four nights I suffered from a high fever and convulsions. Thinking I was going to die was an every minute thought. And where was my loving wife through my turmoil? I don't really know. She scoffed at me for being a big baby the first day and I don't remember seeing her again until I was able to keep some food down. Barbara and Chad were there for me though. Barbara kept wanting to call an ambulance and I kept telling her no. Chad got. Across on the dressing table are laid out all of the implements and objects I intend to use. I pick up the first item, a white feather. I hold it in front of my eyes, the candlelight permeating through the almost microscopic filaments. I lean forward and let the fine tip of the feather gently stroke the back of your ankle. You tense a little, knowing contact has been made and my game has started. I slowly run the feather up and down the length of your leg. As the feather reaches the back of your knee you start to squirm and then up the inside of your thigh. The touch of the feather is both pleasurable and excruciatingly intense in its lightness. The anticipation of where it will stroke next wakes up every nerve-ending in your body. All you can hear is your own breath, gasping each time the feather touches. I occasionally break contact, changing where the feather touches next, keeping you guessing; increasing your anticipation. You wriggle a little as I run the feather along the bottom.
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