“Put your head on the floor,” a voice said as she wiggled the bottle slightly. I did what she said and could feel her wiggling the bottle even more. “Now you keep all that inside you,” she said almost sweetly and patted my ass as she pulled the bottle back out.I’ve never had a beer enema before. I don’t think many people have had one, but the alcohol hit me almost instantly. My head was swimming slightly as I went back to licking and lapping. I heard myself fart loudly. It sounded wet and I was afraid I had really dirtied myself, but one of the women said, “Excuse you,” and I felt someone wiping my ass with a paper towel. “You spit up just a little,” a new voice said, “but you should keep the rest down... or up.” She then giggled like she had been having a few too many beers herself.I took a couple of deep breaths to try to steady myself, but then I let out a loud scream as something really hard slammed into my asscheek. Camilla walked around so she was standing above the girl’s head. I had, of course, not looked at her specifically when I talked to the group about Rilke’s caged Panther.On the surface, the poem is a realistic description of a zoo animal. It is, however, foremost a brilliant metaphor. Through the sensuousness of the poem’s rhythm and choice of words, the Panther circling around itself behind bars becomes in all its vitality and beauty a picture of caged desires. I had not been too specific on the libido and its frustration with a teacher’s fatherly eye on my, possibly, partly innocent students.With Helen, what I said had powerfully registered. It gave her an almost plausible justification for cornering me, demanding solution or amends: She, the Panther, her libido, had escaped from her cage!I was flattered, excited, disturbed, but, ultimately, immediately willing to follow her lead. I reached across with my free hand to stroke over Helen’s hair. I did not need to press to bring her face closer to mine; our lips almost touched when I asked, “Are you.
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