I just?" "Just what?" I asked."I don't know. I got so used to you being Melissa. It's going to be weirdnow." How do you think I feel? I would give anything to be Melissa but I'mnot. It makes me sick to think about going back." How sick?" Jackie asked me with genuine concern."I physically got sick thinking about a few night ago." I need to know. Have you ever thought about?killing yourself over it?"I was shocked she asked that, but she was right."Yes," was all I said. Jackie gave me a hug. "I need you to think about this, Melissa. In all seriousness, do you wantto be a girl?" More that anything," I answered. "I have thought about this for a longtime. I would give anything to be a girl. I just don't feel right aboutbeing a boy." If you can answer me, how far would you want to take this? Would youwant to have a sex-change?" Yes," I said not having to think about it now. I have dreamt this for along time."Once we get settled in Arizona, I want you to see a psychiatrist. If heor she. The night would not be cool, just less hot.Her captors had made camp in a small clearing. It was just off a little trail a brief distance from the main Wenland road – the King’s Southern Road, she corrected herself absently. Both her Aunt Vondi and the arch-mage Werten had cautioned her on using the correct names for things. ‘Sloppy thoughts lead to sloppy mistakes,’ they’d often chided her when she was younger. For all that they didn’t get along, it was amazing how similar the two were.A small fire had been started in the middle of the clearing and a few logs haphazardly placed around it. She knew the fire was not for warmth – the night was warm already – but rather to keep animals and some of the more vicious insects at bay. She was seated on one log far enough away from the fire that she couldn’t feel much of its heat, thankfully. Ilzu was directly across from her, seated on an almost identical deadfall. A guard was stationed at each of their backs.She’d camped in forests before,.
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