Some of these came to me at earlier and more vulnerable ages when the world was not at all easily controlled by thoughts, and when feelings, people and experiences became fixed realities at deep levels.I want to look at ideas which mark the deep and seemingly helpless yearnings for love in my soul. I want to express and explore thoughts which suggest things that may be very difficult to understand or accept, either by myself or others.I do not read a great deal of literature about matters such as socialdeviation or dramatically abnormal behavior, but it seems to me that people are largely afraid to explore such ideas and fantasies. They seem to be afraid of what people will think of them.Well, after years of having and struggling with different types of obstacles and events and after a lot of growth in my life my fears are no longer so intense. Maybe that is why I am now able to write this, when it was so difficult before. Perhaps, as a result of posting this I may wish that I hadn't. I told him he should not get sun-burned while I was away. Away? he said… you mean while you get fucked by the waiter… yes baby, while I get fucked by the waiter…. and you like him to fuck me, right? He did not need to answer, his cock showed me: erected as never before! I continued the massage and ignored the others around us when I gave him a smooth BJ. Around 1.40 I said to my bf I would go to my room. Knowing it’s only one minute walking he was asking why so early? I told him I needed to prepare. Okay he said and let me go while he was holding his hard cock. Walking naked on my heels, feeling the eyes of the other couples, knowing what I was about to do, I felt my pussy dripping. In my room I took a shower, dried myself and searched some nice lingerie. It was too warm to wear stockings but I preferred to do an effort and pulled on the light silky nylons with garter belt, my red panties and bustier, pushing up my boobs showing my nipples just free over the edge of lace. All I had.
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