It was not much, but he had to satisfy his urges. When Nicholas finally got his binoculars, he was delighted to find he could see into the Rubin’s bedroom, though it was obscured by a screen. He had a real, live woman to jerk it to, and he was completely willing to ignore the fact that Mrs. Rubin had a frumpy body, and sagging breasts. She was 48 years old and was not the ideal “girl next door,” but Nicholas did not exactly know that.Sometimes in public or in the glimpses of TV he would get from the rare visits to a friend’s house, Nicholas would see a younger woman with an attractive body, a small waist, large breasts, and so on. He was constantly amazed when he saw these women, having become accustomed to Mrs. Rubin and the boring illustration in his textbook. But, seeing this type of woman was rare and he was still in the dark about the female form, and sex was entirely foreign to him. His mother chose to skip that subject in his homeschooling lessons, and he didn’t volunteer to. I was just so excited and in disbelief. I wish you had been able to stay, I know I would have been able to fall asleep with you holding me. Maybe we can spend the night together next time.”“Next time…” Adrian murmured with uncertainty. Jenny’s smile faded and worry filled her eyes. “You want to do it again, don’t you?”“I don’t know… I’ve never been so unsure of something in my whole life. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know if I should forget my goals to be with you or end this relationship before it’s too late and try to pick up the pieces of what I strived for.” Jenny reached forward and slipped her hand beneath his.“Adrian, you don’t have to forsake your goals to be with me. You can still break free of the human race and the fact that you have a human lover should not hinder that fact. Besides, if you somehow can transcend to the level you seek, you will still be in a human world. My heart doesn’t.
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