At first it was following his lead. Over time though it turned into something I enjoyed. For the most part, it was more about curiousity and naughtiness. It was scary and exciting. At first, I felt more like it was happening around me. Something that others were doing, not me. I just happened to be around it. I think though, that I was making excuses. There was a part of me that tried to justify what I was doing and why. Over time though I stopped fooling myself.If I'm honest with myself, I got into it simply for the attention and to be desired. I'm not being overly critical of myself, just honest, when I say I'm a very plain looking person. Nothing wrong with it, simply the way some of us are. The spots I went to were visited by either gay men or straight/bi men. The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a non existent sex life at home. Almost all kept what they did quiet and were just as worried. His cards joined Hicks'."Well?" Xenia asked Jeff. "You gonna put up?"Just what did she have? Was she bluffing? Or did she really have his full house beat? Did she think he was bluffing? He decided to push the envelope a little. "I'll see your quarter and raise you another half," he said.She hardly blinked. "Call," she said. "Let's see what you got, tough boy."He took a deep breath and laid his cards on the table. "Full house," he said. "Fours over eights."Her poker face collapsed, turning to a frown of disgust. "Oh fuck me raw with an apple picker," she said. She put her cards down. They were the eight through queen, all in a nice order but of multiple suits. "I thought you were bluffing. I finally fill in a goddamn straight and your scraggly ass gets a full house. I hate this game." Its kind of a microcosm of life, wouldn't you say?" Sanchez asked, giving her a meaningful look. He was on the prowl for her as well and seemed to be hoping that his status as a semi-educated man would.
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