I told her we were going out on date night. Little did she know I had packed a goody bag in the trunk and that she was in for a ride. I told her I wanted to surprise her with where we were going, so I made her wear a blindfold. She hesitatingly put it on. We drove to the place where the "surprise" was waiting and I stopped the car. We were at a small unused warehouse that I had rented for the occasion. I led her in to the building, with her blindfold still in place."Is this some sort of new restaurant?" she questioned."Sort of" I replied.I led her over to an area with what were essentially 7 doctors examination tables spaced 4-5 feet apart. I sat her down on the middle table."Where the hell are we?" she asked.In response, I quickly snapped her collar around her neck, pulled her down to the bed, and padlocked the d rings on the collar to the table."What the fuck?" she yelled.I quickly pulled each leg up into a stirrup and locked them in place at the knee and ankle. I then. .. I see you’ve already heard it.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?A cherry float.What do you do when your Kotex catches fire?Throw it on the floor and tampon it.What’s 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1?Bo Derek getting older.Did you hear about the new douche powder made of alum, LSD, and Kentucky Fried Chicken batter?It’s uptight, outasight, and finger-lickin’ good.What’s the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?You can unscrew a light bulb.What do fat girls and mopeds have in common?They’re both fun to ride until a friend see you.Why are women giving up bowling for screwing?The balls are lighter and you don’t have to change your shoes.What’s the difference between a job and a wife?After five years, the job still sucks.How do you make paper dolls?screw an old bag.What’s the white stuff you find in women’s panties?Clitty litter.Bumper sticker: Support E.R.A. - make him sleep on the wet spot.What do you call a rehabilitation home for ex-prostitutes?An all-the-way.
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