’ ‘And there was nothing that your office could doto save the local operation?’ ‘I thought that we could have hung in there but my boss, the man that I trusted implicitly, had been investing money in an offshore shelf company that he owns. The particular country doesn’t have a treaty with us so he can’t be touched by the authorities.’ ‘You really are in a bad way, there must be something we can do to lighten the mood.’ ‘I had thought of going home and getting shit-faced but decided against that, and then I thought of going somewhere for a bit of casual fornication, but that didn’t turn me on at all. I couldn’t face the prospect of some dreary romcom on television, so I thought that I’d drop in here and pick up a good book and curl up in bed with it.’ ‘What a waste, no forget that I just said that.’ ‘You didn’t harbour thoughts of sharing my misery did you? Or maybe you thought that I’d let your replace the book in bed with me.’ ‘No, I was just being frivolous. Look, I’m going to close. There were thousands of colleges across the country, and they were all competing for the same pool of high school graduates. They advertised themselves as safe places for parents to send the fruit of their loins for four years, after which they would have a wonderful shiny degree and go forth to earn big bucks as a college graduate. No parent wanted to pay tens of thousands of dollars every year and not be assured that Little Bobby and Little Suzy wouldn’t be wrapped in a cocoon of security. Nothing would be allowed to happen to these precious young spirits. They would be in a perfectly safe and secure environment.To say the least, the results were schizophrenic. If you asked a college administrator, crime simply didn’t happen on their campus! Oh, they might have a campus safety office, but that simply handed out parking stickers and traffic tickets. A few unarmed patrols might ride around on bicycles or golf carts, and maybe there were a few courtesy phones around the campus in case.
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