It’s Britain, so it’s raining. I’m British so it’s important that I mention the weather: my communication skills would be zilch if I didn’t. Today the weather came up no less than four times. Firstly, Neighbour: Terrible weather! Me: And they call this the start of summer! Neighbour: Gives the flowers a chance I suppose. Later: Newsagents: Not letting up, is it? Me: Good for the flowers, though. Newsagent: Pity I’m not running a garden centre. No pleasing some folk. Luckily, though, for a while I got a bit of a rest from the weather. That was because I was busy watching a particularly nasty gatecrasher do an amazing amount of damage in a very short space of time. No I wasn’t at mad Aunt Maud’s latest 21st birthday celebration – I’d decided to give that party a miss on account of it being held at the naturist park and my bikini line being more gorillian than Brazilian (that and not having a thing to wear) – No, I was at home facing the demon whose name is spake in whispers only: THE. ?I have drawn a nice bath for you and after your soak I will help you get ready dear. You must look very special for this evening. Our bridesmaids need to know that you are sincere in your desire. Don?t fret darling you will be lovely. I for one, cannot wait until we are married and I can begin your intense training.? A tear formed in my eye. ?Don?t cry darling it will all work out. You are going to be just lovely,? Mistress said. ?Get in the tub and I will get your clothes together for you.? The air was filled with her perfume as she went to the closet and produced a lovely pink ballgown for me to wear.I went and removed my male work clothes. I knew I would not need them much longer. I had no idea what she had in mind for us after the wedding, but I was sure trousers were not going to be part of it. I put my long hair inside a plastic cap and settled into the sweet perfumed water. As I was relaxing Mistress came in and put my dressing gown on the hook on the door. She smiled at me.
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