I pressed my ear by the door hinge and I heard some slurping noises. My mind went south so I walked away from his door and just sat down on the only stairway in their dormitory. Mind you that I never have a chance to do some boy to boy action but I heard some hearsay and talks from other guys about some hand jobs, blow jobs and even some butt sex. Going to school with all of these boys and during the peak of their sexual life, it’s sound scary to me but at the same time, I’m also curious about my sexuality. When I heard the door open, Manuel came out with our other school mate Allan. Suspiciously, Allan was in a hurry to go back to his dorm which is 3 doors away from Manuel. Then Manuel closed his door and they never even saw me sitting by the stairways so I brushed myself and walked towards Manuel's dorm. I knocked and he opened the door with a huge smile, ushering me to come in. As I walked in, the smell of dirty laundry and sweats were the first thing I noticed. I didn’t think of. She had been having on going relationships with multiple partners. Men who I couldn't compete with in stature, endowment or masculinity. Her responses to these men showed a submissive sexual side that I wasn't aware of. I felt sick over the betrayal but I felt even worse over how I was simultaneously aroused to the point of ejaculation. Rather than confront her about it, I developed a secret obsession with being cuckolded. The relationship continued for another six months until the obvious change in my attitudes finally made her confront me about it. During that time I began to see myself as less masculine and finding that I enjoyed the thought of being submissive towards masculine men. I developed an addiction to sissy pornography, even going so far as to wear her clothes and makeup. I lost the ability to become erect for her and that sparked the end of our relationship. I was on my own again and racked with depression and guilt becoming more determined to purge any of these desires.
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