Often she sat behind me and I lay back in her arms, feeling safe and warm in her embrace.I have never been as madly in love with anyone as I was with McKayla, which is strange since I really don't consider myself a lesbian. I am sexually attracted to men; I always have been. Until McKayla came along, I had never been with a woman; heck, I had never even kissed a woman until my twenty-third birthday when I drunkenly stuck my tongue down her throat Still, there is a part of me that believes that I could never love anyone as much as I loved McKayla, save our daughter.She was the perfect complement to me. When I was with her, I felt like I could never want for anything else. Her touch was reassuring. Her kisses electric. When she smiled at me, my heart melted. She was strong and self-assured. Yet she feared relationships. Because of her disease, she feared emotional intimacy and commitment.When I was twelve, my mother died in a car accident, and my father died when I was seventeen.. “Ser Roger, might I join you and your ... companions?” a maid from the Red Keep announced herself suddenly.“You would be?” I asked the maid, who blushed as she undressed without waiting for my permission.“Bernadette,” the brunette told me, raising my hackles a bit.I knew exactly who was now that she reminded me. Yeah, she could be trouble, with her loyalty to Cersei and House Lannister. Then again, if I could bring her onto my team, into my camp, that would be extremely useful. She would make an excellent spy and part of my own network of informers. I would need such. While I didn’t worry as much as others about temporary loss of control at court, the more knowledge I had, the better my chances of regaining it.“Well, Bernadette, stay and be our guest,” I smiled at her as my two whores pulled her into the bath, “ladies, don’t withhold your affection from our newest companion.”Lara and Alyse grinned as they began kissing Bernadette and I started to wash her flesh myself. Bernadette.
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