The whole story had to come out so I began at the beginning with Susan’s research project and my trip as a part of my job. We were interrupted as the Pizza super was delivered. During supper, I continued with the details of Susan’s changes. How she had worked on her thesis and her pending degree. Then I told of her pregnancy and how it occurred and how she was ambivalent about her relationship with me and our future. The pain welled up again inside me as the anger and pain conflicted me. Mom cried more and clung to dad. Dad was also emotional but showed it less but his hands trembled and his eyes moistened. My brother became silent. He sat rigid moving slightly in a stiffened fashion. I could see his military academy and battle field experience attitude taking control. He stood up and walked around in deep thought. Finally I finished my story. I had left out nothing. The only question came from my brother in the form of a statement. ‘Ethan,’ he said with quiet but gentle authority,. He told me not to worry about it but to go ahead and go to whichever college I wanted. I heard him and Mom one night, arguing over that statement. My mother was convinced I did not do my best and I was not going to be ready for college. Dad said he felt I just didn’t try hard enough, and once I saw what was necessary to succeed in college then I would turn it around.That actually through me for a loop! Until that point I would have thought Mom would have been arguing that I could do the work, and Dad would be the one saying I was not mature enough for college work. I never let them know that I overheard that argument or any of their other arguments; but when it was time to go to college, I had burned those arguments into my head! Rather than going ahead and leaving home for one of the three different colleges where I was accepted, I decided to go to a local college and get the basics out of the way, and then transfer to a school where I could further my studies into whatever area I.
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