I turned management of my own financial affairs over to Phil, a friend of mine who didn't know what to say about Vicky being dead, but wanted to do something to help.I found that going for a run helped. I wasn't a physical kind of person before all this happened. I had never been a runner before this, but I'd heard that runners kind of zone out while they run and I desperately wanted to zone out, so I tried it. I didn't zone out, but there were lots of things to distract me, particularly if I ran during rush hour. That's when I started running to and from work, instead of driving my car. Rain or shine, cold or hot, it didn't matter to me. It was something to do that kept me from constantly thinking about my loss.Three years later I was finally able to think about her without crying. I probably should have stayed in therapy a lot longer than I did. Maybe that would have limited my mourning time to a year.Basically though, one day it finally occurred to me that I didn't have a life. I. To his amazement Andy raised his hand to her lips and kissed the backs of his fingers.Jack said, "You know what I was thinking? I was thinking about asking you to spend the night with me. Then I saw your hand and looked at mine. If I ran my fingers over your body now they would feel like coarse-grade sandpaper." And it would feel delicious!" she interjected."Andy, would you? Could you?" he asked with the yearning obvious in his eyes.Jack saw the look of pain that flashed for an instant in her eyes but missed its significance. Then she said softly, "Yes, Jack, I will. There's one condition, though. You must swear that at the end of our time together you will do something for me. It will be easily within your power to do. It may be painful for you, but it's something you must swear to do. Darling, that's the only condition. Will you swear?"Jack probed, but Andy refused to give him any more information regarding what it was she wanted him to do. On the other hand, she was adamant about.
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