.. uh, I don't remember your name." Patterson, but call me Dave," he replied gently. "Look, Larissa, I'm afraid I'm the one who first raised the doubts about Swordsman of Atlantis. I don't know if you saw my report, but to summarize, it's not bad, but it's not good. I want to start by saying that Swordsman is one of the cleanest pieces of writing I've ever seen. I remember being a little surprised at seeing only one or two typos. You use the English language very well, in fact, impressively well. On the other hand, the characters are wooden, some of the dialogue is stilted, and the plot is very predictable. It would be possible to spruce up the characters and fix the dialogue, but the plot, well, it would be hard to do much to it without a major rewrite. I'm normally far out of town so wouldn't be able to work with you personally, but I could give you some directions to go with a rewrite, maybe some samples of how things could be changed to make it a work you'd be much more proud of.. "Will you marry me?"She became bashful. "You know my father said it was okay." I am not marrying your father. It is what you want that is important to me. Do you want to marry me?" Yes," she said with a big smile.Daniel leaned in to kiss her."Hey," she said, swatting his shoulder. "We're not married yet."No kissing before the wedding? There were still things a twenty-first century man needed to learn."Would you like to see the wedding ring I have for you?" I get a ring!" she said in shock.Daniel knew very few married women wore a wedding ring because most couples could not afford one. He pulled out the ring. It was the ring Mandy wore. The ring was too big but in a few years it would fit Esther better. He pulled out a gold chain necklace."You can wear the ring on this chain around your neck until it fits your finger."He slipped the ring on the necklace and fastened it around her neck. The ring slipped into her cleavage. He stared and fantasized about the future when he would enjoy.
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