"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"These are from a reader ... enjoy:A shoe repair shop: We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you.A sign over a Gynecologists' office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.";In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels.";On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels;At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.";On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed.";On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.";At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout.";On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts.";In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.";On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push.";At a Car Dealership: "The. When the lights faded, the city looked like Superman had gone crazy with some spray paint and tagged the whole town. Garish colors in eye-bleeding contrast swirled together and against each other like demented sand-art. Anyone who was outside during the explosion was also covered from head to toe in color, including the Chaos twins themselves--now both dressed as hippies."Gnarly, man!" said one in a mellow voice, pushing round shades up off his nose."Well, I'm bored, let's go do something else." said the other."Cha." responded the first. They divided again, surrounding the woman."See ya!" they said, dashing off faster than lightning. At the moment of departure, they divided again so they could go in eight separate directions. The woman sighed, leaned against a Technicolor lamppost, and cradled the Beta to her chest.Hannah and Corey held hands in the darkness in back of the theater. The movie wasn't that good, but it was an excuse to be alone in the dark with one's date. Suddenly,.
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