5 children. Miserable Old Perfect Uncle Steve. ‘Is Alanna here?’ He just looked me up and down. ‘You’re that fuckin’ stoner boy of Jerry’s.’ ‘Yes Sir, I am,’ I grin. He’s not impressed. I think I’m clever. ‘Would you like some?’ ‘I’ll be fucked if I’m letting my daughter hang out with the likes of you.’ ‘I thought she was your stepdaughter,’ I remind him. Cousin by marriage. He goes to shut the door. ‘…fuckin’ stoner.’ Slam. Dad had told me stories about Uncle Steve. Steve was a closet alcoholic in university. I hate hypocrites. I walk over to his shiny PT Cruiser and let the shiny air out of the shiny tires as I star-sixty nine the cell phone and call his shiny daughter. I was out front. Would she and Madeline like to join me? Uncle Steve’s roars of disapproval weren’t quite enough to stop Madeline and Alanna from slipping into The Lincoln with me. His vows of police action weren’t enough to stop me as I pulled out of the driveway and cruised away. And the women were laughing.. We drew straws and I won.’ ‘Lucky guy.’ ‘You have no idea. Tolya snores like a broken tractor.’ Mina laughed. ‘That reminds me of–’ She cut herself off when she realized where her train of thought had taken her. Lawrence snored, that’s what she’d been about to say. ‘Reminds you of what?’ Drew asked. ‘Uh, this one roommate I had at Maryland.’ Mina struggled to change the subject. ‘So shouldn’t you be getting to bed?’ ‘I am in bed.’ That left Mina unable to speak for several seconds. She heard Drew’s soft chuckle and wished she could crawl through the phone to lie in bed with him. ‘Mina? Where are you?’ ‘I’m at home.’ He laughed and warmth flooded her. ‘Well, obviously. I meant, where in your apartment.’ ‘Oh.’ Stupid, simple Mina, she thought and wanted to smack herself. ‘In my room.’ ‘In bed?’ ‘Yeah.’ There was a pause and Drew laughed again. ‘You’re not really good at this, you know that?’ ‘At what?’ ‘Phone sex.’ ‘What?!’ ‘Phone–’ ‘I heard you!’ Mina all but shrieked and then clamped.
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