I was led to my apartment, and I expected I would have to finally answer for how I’d treated her. I wondered where Alan had gone.“This was all my fault,” Tami said once we were seated on the couch.“Uh...” I stammered.“No. Let me talk,” she said.“I forced my way onto your recruiting trips. I’ve had a lot of time to think since then, and I owe you an apology. I messed up in August. If I had it to do over again, I would have accepted your promise ring,” she said as she reached over and placed her hand on my knee.I felt my gut tighten. Only Tami could make me this uneasy. We’d been best friends since the first grade, and I felt it had grown into more over the summer. She was the only person I would’ve let break my heart so many times and forgive. It wasn’t a logical thing or something I could help. Sometimes you found that one person that got under your skin and you couldn’t let go. From the outside, I was sure people thought that I was a complete wuss. But sometimes the heart wants what. She’s like the girl next door, there’s millions of her out there.’ I could hear them complain and bad mouth, but every time they would come to the conclusion that I was the best when the light was on. Professional all the way. They fussed I was like a book without a plot. ‘We need someone to whom the world can relate. People want to have a fairy tale, you know. They want somebody just like them, but in perfection.’ I would nod, silently. They put more make-up on, changed the light angle a little and there was the happy ending they longed for. They told me I didn’t know where my place was. I always knew how to handle my body. As soon as I entered the set I knew how to drape myself, what face to put on and I wouldn’t even forget the smile they had tailor made in store for me. Still, they asked me why I was always so ‘in-between’, distant even – and I had no intention of letting them know. The light was off, the make-up had been removed off my face, my hair was messily pulled up and I.
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