The thought that it would remain empty tonight tugged at my heartstrings.But it wasn’t the thought it was empty and would remain empty wasn’t the emotional scalpel causing my heart to ache. It was more subtle than that. With my job, Sue and I had spent plenty of nights apart over the years. What was so painful was the thought that just a few miles away, over the rooftops there was another man who was experiencing the total opposite set of feelings. Where my bed was empty and my arm would remain unused, his bed contained the woman I loved. And his arm would be wrapped around her shoulder and it would be his chest which she snuggled up into as she drifted off to sleep.Even after my earlier call with Sue had been such a balm, this was a painful thought to endure. I recalled something an old teacher told me. That depression and suicides aren’t greatest in the winter when you might expect. Because everyone’s in the same boat, all bemoaning the lack of warmth and sun. No, they’re highest. Listening to him say it to me, sort off blew me away. It was as if sex talk were a glue, and I could myself bonding to him, though the truth was much deeper than that, I was a sex addict, and he was supposed to be my ther****t.My periods were heavy and they left me almost anaemic, ending with me seeing my local GP and an intrusive examination. Because of the embarrassing situation I explained to him my parents did not know I was doing this, I wanted to keep it quiet, which opened the door to his abuses of me, which I reciprocated willingly.I admitted to being a girl who masturbated, had immoral thoughts about men, and enjoyed being examined by him. After almost four months of regular sex he recommended me to another friend, and we immediately started having sex also.I was prescribed the pill to regulate my periods, which meant I could perform bareback sex, and let men ejaculated inside me, for a more complete experience.Some say the internet is turning girls into sex objects, but I.
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