Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart...Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5.. " "I know that" she chirped. "But I am going to be late for my first day of work" she said. " I think they will understand, ma'am" I stated. She looked over at me and said "Ma'am? since when I have I become a ma'am? she asked. I looked over at her she was smiling at me. She must have been about 45. Dressed in her black business attire, modest skirt, heels, and blazer to match. But what caught my eye was her lacy hosiery that seemed to caress her defined calves. MMM I thought. "BEEP BEEP" went the phone. It actually scared the shit out of me. She picked it up and discussed the apparent system failure. "Forty five minutes" She exclaimed. She hung up the phone and looked at me and said" They said it is going to take 45 minutes to fix this damn thing, what in the hell are we going to do in this sardine can for 45 minutes" she asked. I smiled, in my mind I thought "A few things". We introduced ourselves, a first name basis of course. Her name was Tracy. She told me about her morning. The.
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