Part of her was also ashamed by how she had been and was trying to distance herself from it. Part of it had to do with Kevin. She had felt awful about letting him down that day in the restaurant and the idea that she could tell him that she did have some feeling for him but then go jump right back into it with some other boy made her stomach twist with shame. Finally, part of it was she was simply too busy with everything else to be sneaking off and blowing her chances at redemption. And it was this lack of ‘blowing’ that had also sent a ripple throughout the school. The guys at Pine Valley had become so familiar with the rumors of (and in some instances, the direct experiences with) Rachel’s friendliness that when she’d cut it all off cold turkey, it hadn’t gone unnoticed. She’d been dropping to her knees just about weekly for a friend of hers named Greg from the basketball team and the first time she’d shot him down and pushed his hands off her body, he had almost been. Mom continued on, “Danny has been staying here since I left, your Aunt Jean and I had to make some changes for you, with all the hassle’s that you had last year in school, we knew you needed help and your Aunt had the solution, and that’s where Danny came in, you may not remember but you have been watching hypo video’s that kept you under this long, but they also helped us, help you, you see both of us knew that life would be better if you were a girl. Danny had been giving hormone injections every night while you slept, the video’s instructed you on how walk, talk and act like a girl. He even fixed your room, while you were under. My Aunt Jean smiled, and said, how does your ass feel Paulina, a little sore”? Before I could answer my Aunt she picked up where mom left off, “ Paulina, your little ass is sore because Danny has been having you every night, and from the looks of the video feed we have been getting you are doing so good, we keep you under because I know from experience.
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