Loneliness. The moon, the tide, anything. Anything at all. But not that. Happiness is something earned and to have anything greater than the knowledge of this man would be more than my life has been worth. But I see his eyes. I know his thoughts. I just pray he learns the fallacy. That, without pain, he learns that I have nothing to offer, nothing to give in return for the beauty he has shown me. I feel his touch again, losing myself to what it brings. And I tell him, ‘It’s skin deep. Simple physical attraction.’ And he closes his eyes. The bind that ties us brings us together even while we deny that it’s there. Static electricity, circumstance. Again, loneliness. But not that. Then I feel his touch once again and I lose myself, drowning in his soul, always just beneath the surface, giving over all that I can, breaking my heart again, all just to feel his magic, his heart, one more time. I dream of his possession, the freedom of belonging to this person. And I whisper to him, ‘You. Or was that my imagination too? I quickly finished my beer and left the bar walking out to my car. I unlocked the door and opened it when I heard his voice. "You're not leaving so soon are you? You didn't get a chance to play pool or even join me for a drink." I turned and there was the big man. If I thought he was big from twenty feet away standing right in front of me he was huge. "Sorry yeah. I am actually heading to a friend's cabin for the weekend." He grinned and I swear he let his eyes slowly move down me undressing every inch of me. He was nodding as he said, "That's a nice car. Don't tell anyone but I almost bought one myself. I just don't fit into it. Don't fit into a lot of cars. Usually I drive an SUV but I got my bike out tonight. You ever ride a bike before?" I couldn't believe he was just standing out here making small talk with me. "No, I haven't. To be honest I don't know anyone that owns one either. Which one is yours?" He grinned and turned pointing to one over.
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