Here I am, a late forties, plain looking, overweight malein a Civil Service job with no significant past and no realprospects for an interesting future.I was married to a very attractive Thai lady named Anna,who was quite demanding, and not so accepting of my innerdesires and wishes, which we both agreed to keep secretfrom our three children.All my life I had grown-up and lived with the strongfeeling that I was in the wrong body, that the Gods hadplayed a cruel joke on me by making me a boy, instead ofthe girl I knew was trapped within my soul and constantlyscreaming to get out. While I had always been heterosexualas I grew up, I did experiment with boys on a couple ofoccasions, with no success. I discovered that I was nothomosexual, but that realization did not remove the feelingsthat I should be female, it only added to the confusion.If I was convinced that I should be female, why wasn't Iattracted to boys?As I grew-up I also experimented with cross-dressing, anddiscovered that I. At that thought I turned to check on both sides. Nope. Then I sat up and looked across the gloom. Gideon had a big bedroom with very old-fashioned furniture in it, including an old dark leather sofa. It took me a moment to realise, but someone was lying on that sofa now. I grabbed a pillow from beside me and threw it as hard as I could at the sofa. With more luck than skill I managed to make it plop down right on top of his head.He sat up, startled, and looked at me for a moment before speaking. "Good afternoon, Miss Glenda. Did you sleep well?" Afternoon? Is it really? Yeah, I did." It is. I'm pleased." Yeah. Listen, could you tell me exactly what in hell you're doing on that sofa while I sleep in your bed?" Well ... I don't know if you are aware, but both of the boys snore." I'm ... not saying. Anyway, that's hardly an excuse." So I didn't want to share a room with either of them, and they took the guest rooms." Yeah, so?" And I..." Chickened out." Could be. I'm not at all sure what.
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