Once a week I paraded at Slough Drill Hall with Bravo Company of the 8th Battalion of the Wessex Regiment, a Territorial Army unit. I thought the military atmosphere and camaraderie/ comradeship would have staved off any onset of PTSD, which I imagined these nightmares/flashbacks to be. Of course the TA is not the regular army, and I only spent one evening a week and a couple of weekends a month with them.I did some instructing, and held the rank of a sergeant, and latterly the rank, and post, of Company Quartermaster Sergeant (CQMS), which was quite ironical when you think about it.In late August of 2002 I had accompanied the company to Otterburn for the annual 14 day Summer Camp as Acting Company Quartermaster Sergeant.That fortnight was something like the 'real' army, and I didn't experience any flashbacks then, so it must be the amount of time spent, or not, in a military environment which determined the frequency of flashbacks, or at least it seemed to be in my case.On September. She watched Vico walking down the lane, and drifted back to other days. The boys cleared the table and walked into the little kitchen, began doing the dishes. ‘She seems okay today, eh Paulo?’ Toni asked quietly. ‘Yes. Her memories have come today. This will be a good day.’ ‘God, I would hate to have my memories taken from me. That is the cruelest thing of all.’ ‘Yes, well, perhaps everything happens for a reason. Perhaps only the good memories remain, those memories that keep the best company.’ ‘That would be nice,’ Toni Moretti said as he looked at his mother. ‘When does Margherita get off tonight?’ ‘Things are slow at the hotel. Perhaps in time to walk with us.’ ‘She would love that. But…’ ‘I know, I know, I will walk by the hotel on my way back to work and see if she is in. She has been too hard on Mama, and for too long.’ ‘Well, that doesn’t seem to matter anymore, Paulo, and perhaps it is as you say. Perhaps everything happened for a reason. Perhaps the good memories will not.
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