"I will write every day," She whispers. Now I am in her arms, and my tears flow freely. Amanda knows all about these times. She knows when to leave me alone, when to be with me, when to hold me.I love her so much. Sometimes, in the night I go to her room and watch her sleeping. The shape of her mouth, then a sigh and she turns, and I see the curve of her hip, and I love her even more.Suddenly."Come and see!" Amanda wakes me, and she grabs my hand and drags me from my bed. "Look!"She leads me to the window. I follow her gaze. There, across the courtyard, Amanda's old flat. And for the first time, the blinds are raised. Now we are both hiding behind our curtain like naughty schoolgirls. It's early evening, and a light is on and a woman in there, in silhouette. And she is naked.We scramble for our binoculars. Yes, the woman is moving, maybe in time to music, she seems unconcerned that she is in full view. Amanda grabs me, her eyes wide with excitement. Now Amanda is naked too and. Any underwear? Forever? My heart thumped hard in my chest. Would I do it? Could I control myself?Where would this lead? What was I committing myself to?My mind was a fog."Come on, come on..." Janice said, testily. "Do you agree?"I looked in my heart an knew, ultimately, that this is what I wanted. What I had been waiting for. So, after another hesitation, I took a big breath I stepped into the abyss."I agree."Janice looked at her watch. "OK, go!"Quickly, I reached down and started squeezing and massaging my penis. Sometimes, when I'm excited, I can massage my member - roughly - and get 'over the hump, ' without actually ejaculating. Once I've done this, it settles down and becomes limp again."No fair!" Janice yelled. "I won't allow that!"With lighting-fast reflexes, Janice quickly grabbed my wrists and pulled them together behind my back. Her hands felt like iron as they gripped my wrists. I tried to struggle to get free, but she just twisted them higher, forcing me to my knees.I.
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