The wickets are wrought iron and the clearance through them is the diameter of the croquet ball plus the thickness of a business card. (That’s right: thickness. Not the length or the width, the thickness.) To say the very least, it’s even more different from lawn croquet than Pop Warner football is from the NFL.It had started when we spent Memorial Day with my parents. They had installed a croquet setup — which Mom and Kris played nude — and Kris was determined to have one of our own. So we do. And like my parents’, it’s bent grass. Kris even had to buy a special lawnmower used on golf greens to keep it appropriately trimmed.Anyway, Mom and her granddaughters were playing, nude, of course. She played against the two girls because of her experience and the girls’ lack of it. For about two hours, all the rest of us heard was laughter and girlish giggling. It ended rather suddenly with the sound of three splashes in our pool. The day was sunny and very hot.While the wheels were turning. As we walked across the truck stop parking lot a security officer came up in a golf cart and, in an overly officious tone, informed us, “She can't be on the property.” Stunned, I asked, “Why not?” “Because we don't allow lot lizards at this truck stop”, he replied staring at Suzy with a leering glare. That really pissed me off. I got right in his face with my finger an inch from his nose. “This lady is a friend of mine and not a lot lizard. Now, if you don’t back off, you little prick, I’m going to shove that night stick right up your ass!” He sat there with his mouth open and started to apologize. I ignored his apology and took Suzy's arm and continued back toward the bar. Obviously shaken and a little confused, she asked, "What was that all about … and what the Hell is a lot lizard?" “That’s what the truck stop prostitutes are called, I explained. “I don't know where the name came from but that's what they’re called. Most truck stops have several that hang around and knock on the.
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