“Why weren’t you mad?”At first, I didn’t know what she was referring to, but I quickly made the connection and shrugged. “There wasn’t a reason to be mad. Jana was watching out for you and I understood that.” Of course, I didn’t say anything about my suspicions that Jana was reluctantly attracted to me and attempted to get me thrown out so she wouldn’t give in to those feelings. If it was true.“You didn’t think the situation was the same as at home?” Danielle asked.I thought about that for a moment. “She didn’t act holier-than-thou like everyone at home did. She was simply looking out for you. If I had shown up with Jordan instead, I don’t think she would have gone big sister on me.”Danielle’s eyebrows rose. “Big sister?”I nodded. “I have two older sisters, Alyssa and Faith. Anytime anything happened to Faith, Alyssa would automatically blame me, even if I wasn’t anywhere around.”Danielle stifled a giggle. “What? Like the Butterfly Effect?”I shrugged. “I guess. You’d have to ask. They pulled out with a slop of rubbery meat, and left her comatose and leaking upon the floor, her pink holes unable to coalesce from their reamed state. She shuddered with the aftershocks of ecstasy, then her eyes fell upon me. As she watched me from beneath her brow, she dipped her head low, and began lapping up what had been expelled from her. As I watched her, I realized with a strange sort of fascination that I was both horrified and aroused, and that both emotions seemed to beget the other. The woman had been wantonly destroyed, but she had enjoyed it; she had enjoyed more than anything I had ever enjoyed in my privileged life. I ruminated on how it must feel to be so well filled, to be so thoroughly taken that you’re no longer a person, but a debased object with a singular purpose: to come. To come, and to please those that make you come. It was… exciting to fantasize about, which concerned me. I was a compulsive and reckless creature, and my fantasies didn’t stay.
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